Roots and Wings

There are two things we should give our children: one is roots and the other is wings." Hodding Carter

This old quote neatly sums up a parent’s job in the oh-so-short 18 years we have to do our job of raising secure, independent, happy young adults. I was fortunate to have parents who deeply planted my own roots in the soil of the Christian faith and that foundation has stood me in good stead for over 60 years.

Gardeners know that roots give us 2 things, stability and nourishment. In the old Bible story of the sower and the seed we learn that the strongest and most productive plants are the ones planted in good soil.

Parents these days are faced with so many choices from so many sources when it comes to providing ‘good soil’ in which to raise children. When values change with the date and the popular crowd is the source of all wisdom, teenagers can become rootless and purposeless, opting for pleasure and entertainment as their gods.

A child needs good roots to be prepared for successful independence and the Bible is your best source for wisdom and guidance.  Here are 10 really good rules to teach and model for starters:

       ·        No other gods before the God of Heaven and Earth

·         Don’t worship idols

·         Work 6 days and rest on the 7^th. Keep it holy.

·         Don’t disrespect God’s name by using it carelessly

·         Honour father and mother

·         Don’t lie

·         Don’t steal

·         Don’t commit adultery

·         Don’t murder

·         Don’t envy your neighbour’s ‘stuff’

A quick look at these age old commandments will soon tell you that if most people got even two or three of these right it would give today’s children something solid to stand on.

But, a child also needs wings if they are going to leave the nest successfully and take on the world with confidence. Here 10 suggestions for teaching children how to ‘fly’

• Unconditional love
• Household chores balanced with freetime
• opportunity to make choices suitable to their age
• Increasing responsibility tied to increasing trust
• Freedom to dream without ridicule
• Opportunities to explore and seek adventure
• Freedom to make mistakes and fail
• Praise…when deserved
• Affirmation for who they are
• Encouragement

Tim Keller’s new book “Counterfeit Gods” gives an excellent insight to the worship of worldy idols: money, success, sex, power, and the ultimate despair when they don’t deliver.

Gary Smalley and John Trent's classic “The Blessing” is still the best book I know for putting wind under a child’s wings.