There has always been something that has vaguely bothered me about the accusation of sexism. The word has been around for some time now, and trotted out whenever there is perceived (or actual) gender injustice or inequality. Our PM’s recent speech put the topic front and centre, attracting support from women all over Aus who cheered and thanked her, or not.
The thing that bothers me about women making accusations of sexism is that it can sound so pathetic, so victim’y, as in “Don’t pick on me, I’m a woman!”
I’m not denying for one minute that men can be rude, arrogant and dismissive. Women can be too. We are human. We err!!
So is there a better way to deal with sexism than playing the ‘victim’ card.
- The insult
Ignore it. This sounds trite, but I find it quite powerful. Think about it. Have you ever been rude yourself and had the person ignore you and walk away? You are left standing there wondering what on earth they are thinking, knowing full well you behaved badly. It is humiliating, and enlightening. (Address it in private if problem persists).
- The criticism
If my work is criticized I can either consider it as well deserved or unfair. If my work is substandard I would do well to get advice from a trusted colleague and try to improve. If it is unfair, I should still think about it and raise the issue with the offender at some later time, in private. Public battles of unfairness are not pretty.
I suppose if we women are honest we have all had our Miss Piggy rant at some time or other, most likely getting us nowhere except flustered.
How much better to just get on with the job, whatever we have been called to do, and silence all critics by being really good at it. Whether we be in politics, business, education, medical work or raising a family, there are any number of heroines out there to act as inspirational role models. And I’ll bet none of them are crying ‘victim’.
