To Spank or not to Spank

There have been two articles in the paper this week regarding parental discipline, specifically, spanking, one article 'for', the other 'agin'.
I must say that every time I read an article that heaps guilt on parents who choose to use disciplinary spanking, I cringe. These articles nearly always use the words 'hitting', ‘walloping', beating’ and ‘violence’ to get their point across and inflict the most guilt on parents.
But that’s only a part of my cringe. From recent media features on parental discipline we know that 4 out of 5 parents spank their children. Frankly I think the figure is higher. During a very interesting discussion on discipline in my grade 5 class a few years ago I asked my students how many of them had been spanked. Every hand went up.
 To be clear, 4 out of 5 parents spank, but if asked if they believe in it, (especially in public), 9 out of 10 will say no, obviously not wanting to appear a ‘hitter’, beater’ or ‘walloper’. Here is where the tragedy occurs.
CHILD: strong–willed, defiant, active, challenges every request, doesn’t respond to reason….. (ie. normal)
MOTHER: tender- hearted, sleep-deprived, exhausted, frustrated, depressed, alone most of the day
INCIDENT: (usually everyday, all day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year). Child disobeys, hits, bites, breaks things, runs away, answers back,
RESULT: tender-hearted mother who doesn’t believe in spanking (because everyone will call her a violent child-beater) finally snaps and DOES beat the screaming child because she is dangerously angry and utterly frustrated. The very violence she hates and wants to avoid has happened.
It shouldn’t have to be this way.
Our mothers and grandmothers  have been trying to tell us for years that spanking is a legitimate and useful tool for curbing the naturally occurring defiant behaviour in every child. And it works, for both the parent and the child, especially for the little child whose language and reasoning skills are quite undeveloped. It works when it is done calmly and deliberately with the child’s training at heart, not the parent’s need to vent frustration.
Whether you believe in spanking or not, please read these SPANKING BOUNDARIES….just in case

1. Never spank in anger
2. Never more than 2 spanks
3. Never spank above the waist
4. Ensure the child understands why s/he is being punished (willful defiance)
5. Always demonstrate love and reassurance when the dust settles
6. Spanking should end by 6 or 7yrs of age